You're engaged! Tips for a kingdom wedding!!

Congratulations!!!

So first of all, I'm so excited for you! I can't wait to watch your pretty face walk down the isle to the man God has placed you with! Secondly, I wanted to share some of the things that helped me during my engagement and wedding planning time! (obviously my suggestions may not be relevant for everyone's situation, but I hope they are helpful <3 )

He popped the question! Now what?..

Get a lot of advice from your ministry leaders/disciplers- They will help you tremendously from making rash decisions.

Because my husband and I lead a campus ministry in Sweden, it was important for us to balance ministry and planning, so what worked for us was meeting once a week in the morning to go through any updated plans for the wedding and spent the rest of the week focused on ministry. This also helps in the area of purity so your mind is guarded from thinking about wedding stuff and each other all the time. Lets be real, satan is there for opportune times. Engagement does not mean your married yet--He is not your husband, you are not his wife--treat each other with 'absolute purity' (1Timothy 5:2). Kaspar and I even waited to hold hands until after the wedding.

Set a date. When we set the date we had to take in account of any conferences/events coming up and also trying to accommodate our close family members. Depending on how far away your date is will determine how quickly your planning needs to be. I am always a fan of doing things in advance so that when the week of the wedding comes, you're not freaking out with last minute tasks.
Make a Priority list for you and your soon-to-be-hubby. He may value things differently in the wedding than you, so it's important to come to an agreement on what is important for you as a couple and this will determine how your funds will be distributed. Our priorities in the wedding were: Photography, facility, food, attire (dress/tux), music, decorations.

Set a budget. (how much can your families contribute? How much can you individually contribute now or per month). You really cannot do much planning without knowing how much money you can work with. Don't go into debt trying to create a Cinderella wedding ;) There will be some things that need to be paid upfront such as deposits for the facility, and other things that are due the day of; there is room for flexibility in how you spend the money.

Take some engagement pics! (this is completely optional, but totally fun)

Make a guest list. This will really depend on your facility and how much money you plan on spending on food.

Send out invites, get RSVPs so you can account for how many people will come. I personally invited people with electronic invites (living abroad makes it a little challenging and time consuming).

Make a wedding website--I totally recommend it for an easy way to share everything with family and friends. and its free. gotta love free.

Pick your bridal party. In the kingdom, you have so many close friends, don't feel bad if everyone cannot be in your wedding--it's okay, really.

Utilize your bridal party and the people in your fellowship! Don't try to do everything on your own! I was really blessed to have so many people in our ministry that were willing to help out. My cake, music, photography, and decorations were all done by disciples who graciously served us.

Prioritize the honeymoon. This is a once in a lifetime event, make sure to put the honeymoon is at the top of your budget. Be smart, do your research. There are a lot of groupons, expedia deals, ect that you can use. We went to a small island in Sweden and had a blast--your honeymoon doesn't need to be far away to be awesome. --ask relatives if they have any bonus points for hotels and such, you'd be surprised at what deals you can get if you take the time to find them.

*Don't forget your expenses post-honeymoon. There will be rent, food, gas, water ect. when you get back, so don't splurge without remembering the basic necessities when you come back.

Tips on how to save money:

-buy your dress second-hand (the girl I bought mine from didn't even wear it before, I got it for 120$)

-make your veil --I youtubed how to make a veil and spent about 50$ vs 200$

-thrift stores are great places for decorations, esp vintage themes

-rent a tux vs buying

-you can rent community centers discounted if its a 'non profit' organization event.

-have someone make the food/cake vs. catering

-outdoor weddings are the cheapest, rent a park area if its a nice time of the year. perhaps a beach wedding?

-know someone with a big house/back yard? you can use that for a facility.

-make your own bouquets/boutineers(sp?)!! seriously! it's so much cheaper. you can use fake or real flowers.

-make your reception invite only if you're extremely limited on money

-rent table ware

-skip the DJ, use a playlist and a brother from your fellowship to do the announcements.

-find a friend to do your hair and makeup

Tips for decorations: Make a theme, Pinterest ideas.

-lights, candles, chair ribbons, picture frames, flowers --I kept it very simple.

Other things to consider:

-making personal vows--during some sharing time, guests reflected on this the most. It is special for them to hear the vows between two disciples.

-who will officiate your wedding?

-applying for a marriage license

-engagement counseling

-reception agenda; introduction, first dance, eating, toasts, mother/son & father/daughter dances, bouquet toss, guarder throw, money dance, last dance.. (everything is optional)

-first dance song

-ceremony traditions; lighting a candle, putting sand together, jumping a broom.. once again, all optional.. in Europe its uncommon, so we went without.

-make a photo booth, simple and fun memories.

-put a gift registry out or be specific in what you want/need

a rough glance at how my budget looked like:

facility: 850.00, Food: 300.00, Photography 400.00, Attire: 200.00, Honeymoon: 600.00, Decorations: 200.00, Flowers: 50.00... I'm sure there were more things, but this was the bulk of our expenses.

I hope that some of this information helps! I'm sure there is more I left out, but you can add advice or questions in the comment area below :)

Overall just remember to enjoy this time! I can guarantee something WILL go wrong in the planning and even the day of, but stay focused on being grateful for what God is doing. Philippians 4:4-9 is a great passage to meditate on during this time :)

Wishing you the best, Ashley