'Every Calling is great when greatly pursued' -OWH jr.


I can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that I've been in Riverside for 4 months. wow.

Obviously I've been busy enough to neglect my blog--wooops.

  To start, I'm helping out in our campus ministry at Riverside Community College. I have been working part time at this little family owned to-go salad shop (yum). Doing well in my classes with the ICCM (International college of christian ministry). And I've consistently been learning a lot about myself like always..

  Coming to Riverside has been such a great help to 'spur me on towards love and good deeds' :)

The ministry here is amazing and has so many amazing characters. I've really been in awe to watch the growth and miracles that have taken place in the lives of so many. I definitely consider it an honor to be here with the IE region.

I do dearly miss San Francisco, too. Sometimes I think lack of communication is a cheap tool I've used to not get all sappy and sad. I love you guys!

 SOO what am I learning? well..everything haha.

  Lately I feel like God is really trying to teach me how to transform from a friend, sister, and peer into a mother. A woman who cares for an nurtures others selflessly and with determination. Maybe I've relied on others to do the 'work' or just avoided the heart of a mother, but either way--I get to learn it now. After being a nanny, I learned to appreciate when the parents return home and I hand over the responsibility of caring for a child, but not with the ministry. There are no other parents; there is no relinquishing of duty. I am a 'mother' to the 'children' in my ministry, and they are not going anywhere. I am grateful to be challenged to become someone I've never truly been before. It's amazing that God seems to believe I can be capable of any such role. I've always wanted my own biological children, but for now God is showing me what true adoption looks like; a heart to love those who are nothing like me. It has definitely been sobering to see where my selfish heart can wander into a state of apathy, but I am grateful for the women in my life helping me to push myself to understand the 'why' in my actions. I can't wait to make progress in this calling to spiritual mother hood. ;)

'we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.' 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8

   I recently read a book called Created to be his help meet. It was a really great book. WARNING: if you are a strong willed woman, this will completely rock your world. You will either completely hate it or find deep hope in becoming a woman who loves the idea of biblical roles.--I recommend reading it. I've learned how much I have trained myself to live protecting myself and look at vulnerability as a weakness or cry for attention. How mistaken my logic has been. It's been eye opening to see who I have become and will continue to be if I do not make some serious changes in my attitude, submission, joyfulness, and willingness. The calling to live the role of a biblical woman is ironically so empowering to me  ..I plan on reading it again soon!

  ..so, still working through all my paper work for my annulment. There is still pain in the depth of my heart; I don't think it will ever fully fade away, but each day brings about a new hope. I know any scars left on my heart will be stories of victory soon enough. I will, however, be grateful when every technical part of this process is completed. pray for me  :)

  I am starting a 'Ruth Project' this summer for myself. I'll be studying out the book of Ruth and getting inspired to be a loyal and hardworking woman for God. I plan on having different challenges on serving, encouraging, physical labor (aka working out) and other little projects. I'll try to keep you posted on the details.

oh yea, I just got back from AZ this past weekend. It's so nice to be 'home' and see my family and friends. It was such a good time. Now I'm excited for our annual GLC conference and then I'll be going to Dallas for a week in September. YAY.

excited to see what more is in store here in Riverside. btw.. I haven't seen or heard of any rivers? not sure why it's called Riverside..

until later,
ash



some of the riverside girls :)










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