15 weeks later and finally managing to write about Oliver’s birth! Time flies with a newborn! Awaiting Oliver’s arrival was such an anticipation and a cluster of emotional moments. Originally I had planned to have Oliver naturally. From the beginning of the pregnancy, I wasn’t so fixated on needing to have the birth detailed exactly how I had wanted it to be, but I didn’t realize how quickly all of my plans would fly out the door. We had a smooth pregnancy over the course of those 40 weeks; tons of morning sickness from week 9-21, but after that it was smooth sailing. My midwife regularly checked on Oliver, and his little heart beat was strong and was sweet music to our ears. In Sweden, they only do one ultrasound in week 21. If there are no causes for concern, then that’s the only time you’ll get to see your litttle one before they make their official appearance; pretty crazy compared to the American routine I knew of. So in week 21 we found out Oliver was a healthy baby...
So, it's a new year.. (side note: I feel silly having a blog again, but here it is! The last time I had a blog was myspace and xanga like 6 years ago..wow. I'm getting old) Dear Future me, Please, remember this time of your life. I wouldn't want you to regret it, or even worse, repeat it. Love, Past you. Well, let me start by saying that 2013 was the best/worst year of my life. The best because I've been given opportunities to learn things about myself and my walk with God I've never learned before. The worst because I've never felt so much heartache in my life ever. Starting January of last year I was able to finish out my associates in college (finally! I've been doing missionary work for the past 5 years and put it to the side for a while). I was able to serve in the ministry full-time. I was able to visit family for the holidays. I was engaged to a man I couldn't wait to start my life with. That June we got married! We moved up t...
Something I've realized since I've been separated is that nothing is guaranteed. For the past six years, I dreamed that one day I would go into the ministry, get married, have an amazing family of my own, live out of the country at some point, and grow old as couple recalling the many ways God worked in my life with gratitude. And while all those are great aspirations, they are based off of an assumption of what 'life to the full ' looks like. As a disciple, I can misplace my hope; I confuse God's promises and replace them with my own expectations. danger! When I was asked to become a full-time intern and moved to San Jose, my heart got excited to check-off a dream answered. Then when I got engaged, I thought another dream achieved. As much as God would soon expose sin in the relationship, he wanted to expose my own heart. I quickly realized that in my own heart I needed to check where my hope was --was it in the things God gives me or in the cro...
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